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Perfect Dude:
You are over 5’8 You are athletic and/or toned and slender Not indy rock, coked up, Iggy Pop slender Nancy Reagan told you to “Just Say No” when you were 8 and you listened You were born in the 1970’s or the summer Armstrong did his thing You have a degree, an advanced degree It’s not an MBA You have red, blonde, light brown hair You wear glasses Sports are important to you Baseball is in your top 2 favorite sports Family is more important to you than sports Ideally, you drive a Subaru Alternatively you drive a hybrid, or a European car with more than 200hp or you walk everywhere. You detest SUVs You work in science, architecture, design, education, advertising, media or real estate You have a job Politically moderate Fundamentalist Christians scare the pants off you You tip between 15%-25%, never to the penny and usually on the high side You understand why you should tip that well You are nice, plain old mow-the-elderly-neighbor’s-yard-as-a-grown-man nice Eagle Scout: an added bonus Kids make you smile, but at this point you’ll still be buying condoms for the next few years You always use/have/have used condoms Sex is an adventure and you love adventures You’re not scared of rip clothes off chemistry You need rip clothes off chemistry You can control rip clothes off chemistry Not divorced You understand the need to search out the perfect stout You are a dork, a hot dork Funny: either affable, dry and witty OR milk out of your nose silliness Your humor is your own and it's funnier than most You like feisty, opinionated women You are a boob guy, a serious boob guy Confidence is second nature to you Travel for work is under 50% You completely rock |
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